Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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