Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have fence marks all over my body
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
