Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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