and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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