We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
