She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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