I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
