and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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