I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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