So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
there is puke in my bra ... again
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