Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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