she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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