did you get engaged???
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
