I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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