There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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