his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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