Your face is a jimmy john
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
