I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
