; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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