so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize