It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
