It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
