Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He better not be in your backpack
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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