After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
