why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
