My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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