threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
