if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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