When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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