but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
