i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
