She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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