when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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