Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
