Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
