YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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