I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
