You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
