Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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