im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
