I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
