Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
