what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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