alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
