playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
