How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
