some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
