There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
