there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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