Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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