im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
