No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
