I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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