i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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